Darryl was very like an adolescent boy in some ways, just as I was like an adolescent girl... after all, were were literally going through a second puberty. Darryl had a vast collection of exceedingly neat Star Wars toys, his "Little Boy Toys", an effort to have some part of the childhood he never had.
Transsexuals tend to do this sort of thing. It's a bit like the Replicants from the classic film, "Blade Runner". I have always strongly identified with the Replicants of Blade Runner. In the movie, the artificial humans collect photographs of people, artifacts of a fantasy family, friends, and childhood they never had, never could have. It made them feel better to pretend that they might have had a human past, that they were not constructed in a factory.
I own lots of Little Girl Toys to this day.
Darryl also had a very sweet daughter. Darryl had once been married, before transition, to another transsexual, Male-To-Female. When they both began transition, Darryl's former spouse, now named Kira, went on the road to pursue a musical career as a backup musician for some well known rock bands. Kira was nowhere to be found, and Darryl was trying to survive as best he could.
Darryl and Kira's daughter was a darling child, about eight. She adored me. I read her stories and tucked her in at night. I gave her hugs, and made her her lunch, and special treats. She followed me about, clinging to my prairie skirt, a lost little girl.
She started calling me "Mommy" which just about broke my heart every time I heard it. It was so hard to correct her, especially when she did not want to hear it. Neither did I.
I quickly began to realize that Darryl would never love me. He was utterly in love with the missing Kira, and always would be. All he desired was for Kira to come back. Darryl was wonderful, and he liked me, but his heart belonged to another.
This became a problem when I realized that I was starting to care far too much about a certain little girl. I was increasingly becoming her mother, both to her, and inside my heart. This would never work, as much as I desired it.
I broke off my relationship
with Darryl. It would only bring me misery in the end. Darryl could never
love me, I would only be a replacement for Kira.
And Darryl's daughter....
I had no claim on her. She was not my child. She would never be my child. And even though I wanted to give her the care and love she so desperately needed, it just would not work. I knew that.
She was my Almost Daughter, and I miss her whenever I think of her, which I try very hard not to.
Replicants can't have children, I guess.